Chapter First

"Please list the Telltale Signs of the Transition from Childhood to Adulthood". It may include First Car, First Car Payment. First Home, First Mortgage/Rent Payment. First Sexual Encounter. First Child, First School Fee. First Marriage. First Death of a Friend. The one I refuse to list, is the day one turns twenty-one. I know that this may frustrate and quite frankly "piss-off" a few people but I have good reason. "The Telltale Signs of the Transition from Childhood to Adulthood" which I will hereafter refer to the as "The List of Firsts" should not include any mention of birth dates simply because any one of these signs or "firsts" can occur at any time.

Culture, Illness, Loss of a primary caregiver, are no respecter of age. So clearly, age has nothing to do with it. Does it mean that the "age old" saying "listen to your elders" doesn't count? Well, I think it's worth removing from the pedestal.

I have been going through my own set of "first" encounters recently. My first blog for example. You're reading it. And for a first I'm determined to keep it going.

First Car, First Car Payment. I decided I needed a car, "to help facilitate the multiple road trips my career calls for". Truthfully, I think I was just being greedy, but I just could not resist the gold sheen and beauty that is my Suzuki Vitara. There are times when I feel that owning my first vehicle is more than a simple acquisition. It's an accomplishment. It's a sign that I'm ready to handle a different kind of accountability. It is my mark of freedom. My ability to go to the supermarket without having to find a cab or visit friends on some idle Saturday evening who will be willing to take a trip with me to the outskirts of Port Royal for fish and shrimp. Or even better, the key to my future Negril journeys.

My first car payment however seems to be a "first" step to slowly severing this dream of liberty and freedom and thoroughly cementing "a different kind of accountability". I have, since owning my first car, realised that the expense to fuel the vehicle for these and other fantasied trips is more than my now shallow pockets can accomodate. So for now I will continue to dream.

First....This and other firsts have now allowed me to truly appreciate my past life of irresponsibilty, where my only complaint was that I had to do the pile of Sunday dishes.

I believe that my major shock into adulthood was actually The First Marriage. The day I recieved that unexpected call, the shock, the countless questions...and then three months later there I was. Seated in the second row, on a wooden church pew amongst people who I had spent the best of my high school years with, watching one of my best friends say "I do". That! was when I felt old beyond compare. I truly felt life change at the moment. It was a moment of pride, joy and strangely enough sad uncertainty. We had all grown-up. And life seemed as if it would remain some kind of untold mystery.

Uncertainty is what frightens me. And "firsts" are always filled with uncertainties.

So, how is a person really suppose to handle the transition from childhood to adulthood. Do you hold back and live in what you know, in a safety net? Or do you ford the deep, murky waters of the unknown, hoping you don't sink if you happen slip under?